It's Not Easy To Fall In Love

I've just returned back from the pub where I was with my friend Martin and my mom. Yep, I was in pub drinking beer with my mom! She's the best mom you could have, trust me, the best one! And not even for this beer support. She's just amazing person. To be honest, we've become more friends than it could be in mother and daughter relationship. It's truth that she sometimes getting on my nerves a lot but there are much more brigther days when we are together chatting and doing stuff like friends. For exemple the day before yesterday we were on bikes just to take a short ride around Hradec and we ended our tour in the pub. Yesterday we were on mojito in one café near our house. We needed it terribly lot because of really really hot weather. One glass with mint, limes and ice! Um, how good it sounds, eh? And today we were in the pub on some beers - actually my mom defeated me, she had one more beer than I had. :P And we even met Kosta there. He was there with some of his friends. I almost didn't recognize him because he's got shorter hair.

Back to my mom - I really don't get the point of the problems she's dealing with, I mean my father. I can't completely understand why my father is acting like an asshole to her - she's person you have to love all the time. Today she showed her bright side again. Martin's mom needs to get some better job than she's having now so my mother offered him that she will ask in hospital if there's some place for her. She doesn't even know her and she's doing this! Could I have better mom than is mine?! If yes, show me that woman!

We had really great time tonight. Though I'm feeling kinda depressed. Not because of my mom nor because of our family, it's just because of me and my relationships with boys. I'm seriously asking myself what's so wrong with me that I can't find no one who would like or even love me. I've met so many boys in my life who I liked or I thought I like them but did they like me? No way!! Those boys who I liked never liked me even for a short time. They were mostly just my friends or even worse they didn't know about me at all. They just ignored me. :( One experience with that boy from summer camp is really fresh and...I really like him, yeah I still like him, but does he even care? I do not know. And I'm afraid to call him or something in this sense and ask him. On the other hand if he hasn't contacted me yet he can't be really interested in me, eh? And that girl he was talking about...I'm really confused...why me?! Or better question - why do I always fall in love with boys who doesn't like me in the way I want to be liked? Is it really hard to find someone? Or am I just too weird for boys? If I watch the life of my friends, of majority of my friends, they have great relationships with their b/f or g/f and everytime I feel really miserable about this whole thing they just keep saying "Leni, you are great person, nice girl, you're really pretty. Thre's nothing wrong with you. Those boys just don't know you and they don't know what they are missing when they don't want to be with you." Friends always tell you this and I'm thankful for these warming up words but do I have to feel better after listening this for almost my whole adolescence? Trust me, I really don't feel any better. Some people say it's because I don't go out too much but I doubt my situation would get better after going out every night. I've tried it and it didn't help at all. My problem is maybe in that that I'm not a girl just for one night. I'm really shy in relationships with boys and I need some time to get used to someone and to trust someone with my whole soul...

As you could have noticed I had changed the design of my blog. I was bored by those dots so I just thought it's time to make some change. To green again because I really like green color - more than I used to. I've always liked blue or even black. Nice change, eh? I even added chart from last.fm which is writing down the artists and songs I've been listening to recently so you can see what I like to listen - and I like looots of things. These days my favourites are: I AM X, Razorlight, Zero 7 and my oldschool bands Panic! At The Disco, Relient K, The All-American Rejects and my biggest loves JamisonParker. Also the Book Addiction is new here. Some books I really like to read again and I want to recommend to you all. Trust me, there will be a lot more because I just LOVE to read. I'm still reading The Deptford Trilogy, I'm in its half, so after I will read it whole I wanna read Life of Pi and I have some more books in English I'd love to read during the holidays. I've got plenty of time and what's better than spend your free time with some good book in your hands? Just to let you know about the list of books I want to read in near future:

• Life of Pie - Yann Martel [EN]
• Angels and Demons - Dan Brown [EN]
• Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavres - Mary Roach [EN]
• The Cement Garden - Ian McEwan [CZ]
• Catch 22 - Joseph Heller [CZ]

Good list, eh? I guess there will be more and more books which I'll find out interesting to read. If you have any recommendation I'm free for them! Just keep them rolling on me!

Another thing which really made my day better are reaction to Niky's and Jeff's relationship from people I know. There are few close friends of mine (Terka, Vilda - I didn't tell them the truth first because Jeff told me that's surprise that he'll come back in September but after asking me if Jeff comes again, when, why and some more questions I couldn't resist it!) who were...without any censorship...so fucking surprised about this whole thing that they had thought that I did make fun of them! haha, no my dears I did not, just go and see Jeffy's blog. It's all there! I just hope that this two will be together for loooooooong time and a bit longer! ;)

I'm going to watch Silent Hill movie. I downloaded it yesterday but I haven't had any courage to watch it, so the time has come to be scared of some small town in West Virginia which has been burning for 40 years and few weird inhabitants from hell are still living there. I just hope it won't be as bad as I think it could be.

Till next post my fools...